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Super Powers:
Darkseid... of the Moon

(1986)

Super Powers was a comic book back in the 1980s, and it was one of the worst comic books ever made. For one thing, the guy who drew it made every single person (even the chicks) look like a dwarf who spent like 80 hours a week at the gym. Plus the stories were so fucking stupid that they actually made other comic books look good. It was the kind of comic that kids could never trade to their friends, not even for Casper or a Matchbox car with three of the wheels missing. It was the kind of comic that made people envy the blind. It was the kind of comic that when you donated it to the church white elephant sale the minister would come by your house and punch you in the face. In short, it was a worthless piece of fucking shit.

Here's some awesome art from the comic book Super Powers. I can't decide what I like best: Flash's retard pose, the fact that Wonder
Woman is now a post-op tranny, Superman's buck teeth, or the redhead who looks like she's getting an unexpected dick in the ass.

This video of Super Powers isn't even a cartoon- it's just pictures with some guy talking over them. It looks like they just had somebody write and draw the whole thing over a weekend, and paid him in beer. In advance. The story starts when this clown Darkseid tries to steal the moon. NASA doesn't like that (they'd probably have to lay off a bunch of people), so they ask some superheroes to help. They make some pretty good choices, too: Superman, who can do anything; Flash, who by running really fast can do anything; Dr. Fate, who can use magic to do anything; Firestorm, who can turn anything into anything else; Green Lantern, whose special ring can do anything; and Red Tornado, a robot who can fly. Okay, the flying robot might be a bit of a weak link, but the other five have more power than God so I don't think taking out Darkseid, whose superpower seems to be constantly running his mouth, is going to be much of a problem for these guys. I think Darkseid just likes the attention or something though, because he doesn't even really try- his big plan is sending dogs to fight the superheroes! Dogs! Duh. Darkseid's crony attacks next and he does a little better, but they manage to take him out too so Darkseid is forced to use his other major superpower: running away. The heroes probably should've gone after him, but they don't even bother. To be perfectly honest, I think they felt kind of sorry for him. Dogs. Jesus.

It's still better than the comic though.