Terminator the Series

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Terminator:
The Sarah Connor Chronicles

(2007)

Okay, why would anyone make a Terminator TV show? It's the same story every time: the bad Terminator shows up, then the good Terminator shows up, then they chase each other around for a while, blah blah blah... Watching that every week would get dull pretty quick, no matter how many cops they shot in the kneecaps or buildings they blew up. Lucky for us whoever came up with this had some sense, because they decided to make whether it's boring or not completely moot by hiring the crazy chick from Firefly to be the good Terminator:

Sweet Jesus Brown, she is just top of the fucking line. You could have a TV series where she just sat there and read a magazine or did her nails and every straight guy on the planet would watch. Let's look at her again:

Damn. That's like the definition of fine. If you looked "fine" up in the dictionary her picture wouldn't be there because that's ridiculous, but trust me, she's fine. The rest of this is pretty pointless though: for one thing, they just couldn't resist working in the old "pursued by an investigative something-or-other" bit. In fact, by the end of this episode it looks like the good guys are gonna be pursued by an investigative FBI agent and an investigative ex-fiancé. It's not enough that they're being chased by killer robots from the future? I mean seriously? And having the bad Terminator disguise himself as a big white guy again is pretty weak- why couldn't he be, say, a little Asian dude this time around? In fact, they should make it so that anything could be a Terminator: old ladies, kittens, refrigerators... The good guys would never know who or what was suddenly going to turn into a killer robot and attack them. Plus then they could get a Terminator dog at some point, which would be fucking awesome. They had a bionic dog in The Six Million Dollar Man, so why not? (Then again, I think they had a bionic Bigfoot too so maybe that's not the best program to be stealing ideas from.)

Oh well, it may be dumb but I'm gonna record every fucking episode. I just hope they remember that robots don't get cold, so there's no reason why the crazy Firefly chick can't be sporting short shorts and a bikini top at least 99.9% of the time.

Three thumbs up. (Get it?)

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