Home

Terror-Creatures from the Grave

(1965)

A lawyer comes to this creepy old villa to take care of some cat's will, but it turns out the guy already died a year ago (you really need to do something about that backlog, dipshits). The lawyer wants to leave, but there's an owl caught in his engine (what?) so he gets stuck there. Since he's got nothing better to do he decides to mack on this one chick who's staying at the villa. She's obviously nuts since she keeps flipping out and saying she sees dead people, but she's fairly cute and he's a typical guy so that doesn't slow him down too much.

It turns out she's not just whistling Dixie though- this dead guy really is back from the grave because he needs to get revenge on the dude who wasted him, plus these other five people who laughed when it happened because that's just fucking rude. One of the clowns the zombie is after is in a wheelchair now, and he gets so freaked out that he props up this sword and just wheels right into it and kills himself before the dead guy can get him.* Some of his guts leak out too, which was probably the best part of the movie since none of the chicks get naked. In the end a bunch of zombies with the plague come out of the ground to help the dead guy out; I assume these are the "terror-creatures from the grave", but all we ever see are their shadows! How unbelievably fucking weak is that??? You can't call your movie "Terror-Creatures from the Grave" and then not even show us the goddamned terror-creatures! I don't know what the fuck goes through peoples' heads sometimes. This movie sucks.

*It works pretty well; if you're in a wheelchair and thinking about killing yourself - you know, because you can't walk and shit - you might want to write that one down.