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Things You Can Tell Just By Looking at Her

(2000)

This movie has five different stories about five different broads. It starts with some dame who claims she's a doctor getting a tarot card reading. That's fucking great- I'd sure love to have her operating on me when she suddenly decides she can't finish because her star sign is in retrograde or some flakey bullshit. This is why they didn't even let women be doctors until like 1980 or whatever.

Things I can tell just by looking at her: She gets her hair done at First Dyke Haircutters

The next chick's love life is a disaster filled with subordinate fucking and abortions, but things finally get better after a wise homeless lady calls her out and gives her some advice. Ah, homeless people- is there anything they can't do? Besides find someplace to live, I mean.

Things I can tell just by looking at her: If I was her subordinate, I'd fuck her. I wouldn't tell anybody though.

Broad #3 is a single mom who gets all fascinated with this dwarf who moves in across the street. It all builds up to them getting together, but we never see what happens next which totally sucks. I really wanted to see her fuck that dwarf.

Things I can tell just by looking at her: She has a fat ass.

Broad #4 is Ally McBeal, and she's bummed because her lesbo girlfriend has the cancer and is about to buy the farm. The ironic part is that Ally McBeal is still the skinnier one.

Things I can tell just by looking at them: I want to bang the crap out of Ally McBeal. She's probably gonna be back on the market soon.

The last dame is a cop who lives with her blind sister. The blind one gets dicked over by a guy, but instead of trying to cheer her up the cop lies to her, sneaks off on a date, and leaves her crying in the dark. I'm surprised she didn't rearrange the furniture before she left too, just to be a complete cunt.

Things I can tell just by looking at them: They're both pretty cute. I'm adding "threesome with a female cop and a blind chick" to my bucket list.