Video Picks for Perverts
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(2003)
Okay, the original Toolbox Murders started out great but the end totally sucked, so hopefully this time around they'll fix that by HOLY SHIT IS THAT DRUSILLA FROM BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER????? Christ H. Jesus this has like the potential to be the greatest movie ever made. Drusilla is so goddamned fine I'd give up a toe for five minutes with her dirty laundry, and in a flick as sleazy as this one will hopefully be there's every reason to believe that at some point we'll see her tits. She's stripping already! Sweetness. Ah, hell, they didn't show anything. Dammit, I just can't take these movies with all the Alfred Hitchcock suspense and shit. It's like waiting for somebody who just had a stroke to finish a bowl of soup. Okay some other stuff is happening... blah blah blah... Drusilla in shorts and a crop top! Drusilla stretching! Drusilla bending over! Why can't they just make a DVD called "Drusilla Bending Over"? I'd give those fuckers out as Christmas gifts. Later Drusilla takes a date home, gets spied on by her little spunk-monkey neighbor (twice), and ends up power-drilled through the noggin, but we never do see her naked. God damn you, Toolbox Murders. God damn you straight to hell.
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YOU don't have to PUT UP with the HIP.
