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Totem

(1999)

Gargoyles are cool, but you always run the risk that they're going to come to life. I think that's why they make those crappy plastic gargoyles you always see at garden stores now- if one of those jokers comes to life, it's not too hard make short work of it. In this flick, these evil gargoyles trap three drips and three chicks in a cabin where they start getting possessed and killing each other. Not this again... how many goddamn times are they gonna make this fucking movie? It would be okay if it was completely gory and out of control, but the monsters are lame, the gore is weak, and there's no nudity whatsoever. Hell, they don't even try. Like for example, there's one part where the cutest chick gets dragged kicking and screaming out a window by one of the gargoyles. There's nothing all that great about this part, but put that chick in her underwear and suddenly you've got cinematic gold. How hard would that have been? Maybe if this company paid more attention to their movies and spent less time making a hundred different retarded "Puppet Master" toys that nobody wants anyway they'd actually come up with something good once in a while. Honestly, have you ever met anyone in your entire fucking life who owns "Puppet Master" toys? These clowns aren't fooling anybody but themselves. Screw "Puppet Master". Show us some tits.