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The Transformers: The Movie

(1986)

The Transformers cartoon was one of the dumbest pieces of shit ever- it was supposed to be about these robots that could disguise themselves as cars and planes and shit so people wouldn't find out about them, but they never did that. Sometimes they would turn into cars or whatever if they wanted to get someplace fast, but then they'd turn back into robots right in the middle of the goddamned mall or something and have a huge brawl with each other. It was fucking retarded. I wouldn't think it would even be possible, but the movie is even dumber than the show. It starts with all the Transformers fighting each other for like half an hour, but the only way to figure out who's on whose side is if you know who every single Transformer is, and I'm sorry but if you know that then you're a fucking pinhead. Later the Transformers fly into space to find more robots to fight (of course they split up during this part, so they can have as many different fights as possible), and it all ends when the biggest Transformer of all (the one your parents wouldn't buy you even if you life depended on it, and you didn't deserve anyway, you little prick) shows up and all the other ones fight him, plus each other, plus I think by this point some of them were even fighting themselves. The only part I liked is when they suddenly start playing "Dare to Be Stupid" by Weird Al during one of the fights for absolutely no reason. It's like the perfect song for this idiot movie.