Video Picks for Perverts
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THE WORLD OF MR. SATANISM VS.
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(2007)
Transmorphers. Transmorphers. Are you kidding me? The sad part is that this isn't even a rip-off of Transformers, it's a rip-off of The Terminator: It's the future, robots have taken over the world, a brave band of blah blah blah etc. But at least the cats in this movie had the sense to hole up with a boatload of astoundingly fine chicks. For real, there are so many unbelievably hot chicks in this movie that if they all showed up at my front door I'd probably have to turn the blondes away. I haven't seen this many eye-popping pieces of ass in one place since the day they were passing out free brains at the mall. I especially liked the curly-haired brunette; too bad we only see her a few times*. And two of the chicks are married to each other! That's so goddamned hot. Oh, and take that, Christianity. So anyhow, after some bickering the humans decide that they need to capture a robot alive (fuck off, you know what I mean), and the only person who can do it is this dangerous renegade who plays by his own rules: "Orders were made to be eaten before the main course," he says. What? He also makes this completely incomprehensible toast in one part: "May the brave soldier who never turned his back on his enemy never let a friend turn his back to him." Okay, so he's a retard. The important thing is that he gets the job done. Too bad I can't say the same for this movie. It's basically just a huge, boring, generic fight, and despite the absolute glut of top-drawer pussy on hand there's no tits, no lesbo action, no tits, no robot rape, no regular rape, and no tits. There is a five-way catfight, but even that ends up being pretty weak. If a hundred high school valedictorians got killed by a hundred drunk drivers all at the same time it still wouldn't equal the wasted potential in this movie. These hotties deserved better. * Here's her big line: "Copy that. This is Cargo 2 requesting permission to launch." What an actress.
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