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Trucks

(1997)

"Killer trucks" is a pretty good idea: you could have a garbage truck scoop people up, dump them in the back, and crush them, or you could have a truck bury an orphanage in cement or something. Then a fire truck could come along and when everybody runs out to get help it would turn out to be evil too and run them all over. Of course, the people who made this movie were complete fucking morons, and all they could come up with was a guy getting wasted by a toy truck and, hold on to your sack, a part where a truck uses an air pump to fill a hazmat suit with air, and the suit picks up an axe and whacks someone. I've seen a lot of stupid fucking parts of stupid fucking movies, but that might be the single stupidest fucking fuck anyone's ever fucked. Seriously, whoever came up with that deserves some kind of award- like he could be "King of the Idiots" for a year or something. The only good thing about this movie was the underage chick with the short hair; I'd rail that little hottie in front of her parents, a judge, and Jesus and no matter what happened to me afterwards it would totally be worth it. She's that fine.