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Turbulence 3: Heavy Metal

(2000)

This mediocre goth band throws a concert on an airplane, but then they get hijacked by a satanic cult that wants to crash the plane into Kansas. See, it turns out Kansas is one of the unholiest places in the world (I'll buy that), and if they crash the plane in like this specific spot they'll open the door to Hell. What they didn't count on though is this FBI chick teaming up with a hacker to get in touch with a cat on the plane and help him kick the hijackers' asses. The best thing about this movie is that it actually reviews itself in one part:

FBI Agent: "Let me get this straight, Kate; you want the hacker you went to arrest to virtually guide the rock star through the plane so that he could overpower the armed, satanic hijackers?"
Kate: "I know it sounds crazy..."

And by "crazy" of course she means "stupid". At the very least you would expect there to be a bunch of hot, underage goth chicks running around in this, but between the fatties and the ones who look like they're pushing 35 they even manage to mess that up. The only quality piece of ass on hand is this bitchy reporter chick, but she never shows us the goods which is completely moronic; seriously, she's so fine her rack probably could've saved the whole movie, plus Turbulences 4 and 5 just by association. This isn't the worst movie in the world or anything, but between not seeing the reporter's tits and all the other things they screw up (not seeing the reporter in her underwear, not having a part where the reporter does a strip tease, not seeing the reporter's tits) I have no choice but to give it the big nein.