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UFO: The Hidden Truth
The Strange Case of Crop Circles

(1991)

In case you don't read books by cretins or own the first Led Zeppelin box set, "crop circles" are these big circles of mashed-down corn and shit that show up in farmers' fields late at night when they're passed out drunk or busy fucking their ugly farmer wives. I saw this television program once where they showed that all you need to make crop circles are a couple of liquored-up guys, some rope, and a two-by-four, plus one farmer on this video says that he charged like admission to the crop circle that was on his farm and thousands of people came to see it. I don't know about you, but I think I can connect the dots here. Not everybody's as smart as me though: shitloads of hippies, flakes, losers, and retards think it's the supernatural or something, so they visit crop circles and dance around, draw aliens, and just in general act like complete fucking idiots. Even the scientists they talk to for this video have a bunch of dumb ideas, like the one who says crop circles are made by a "plasma vortex" or some such shit. Aren't scientists supposed to be smarter than your common hippie? The best part is watching the vortex scientist get all pissy with these guys who are going around making their own crop circles just to fuck with everybody. In the end the guys who are fucking with everybody make a crop circle and after the scientist says it's "genuine" they tell him the truth and he looks like someone just kicked him in the balls. It's fucking hilarious. What a moron.