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Under the Cherry Moon

(1986)

Remember the 1980s movie with all the hit songs that pretty much put the ego formerly known as Prince on the map? Well this is his other movie. Okay, first off it's in black & white when it doesn't need to be, which is almost always pretentious and completely unnecessary. Second, it happens in France and, well, same thing. The main problem with it though is Prince. You only have to watch that pancake-making midget for a few seconds before you realize that when he's not singing he's basically just a smarmy little dork. You know how many chicks would actually give Prince the time of day if he wasn't rich and famous? Six, and when you think about it that's not that many. All that said though this movie isn't anywhere near as bad as people say: it actually has a few funny parts (I especially like it when the main chick makes fun of the way Prince spells- you know, that "I Wud Di 4U" crap); there's plenty of hotties creeping around (the landlord is particularly fine- best frog legs in town); and in the end Prince gets shot, and you can't beat that. One thing about this flick really pissed me off though: after the credits it says "LOVE GOD. MAY U LIVE 2 SEE THE DAWN". What the fuck? Is that some sort of veiled threat or something? I gave your movie props, Prince, so don't try to get all hard with me because I'll go rounds with you anywhere, anytime. You just pick up the phone and let me know. You long-haired faggot.