Varrow Mission

The Varrow Mission

(1978)

These slack-jawed hick idiots are all excited because they're gonna make a "spook alley" in some old mill or something (I guess "spook alley" is yokel for "haunted house"). These other kids are making like a rival "spook alley" though, so they come around and try to mess things up. Seriously, these people are fucking losers. Anyway, after an hour of this stupid shit it turns out that this one new kid they met (nice mullet, dork) is really an alien and he tries to kill them. Too bad he fails- he would've been doing these rejects a favor. There's no gore and nobody shows their tits, but since all the chicks were stray-dog ugly I was only half disappointed.

The music is called "Love Theme from The Varrow Mission", even though nobody falls in love in this movie. Gay.

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