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Village of the Damned

(1995)

Every single broad in this village gets knocked up on the same day, and the kids they end up popping out look like Jim Henson's Edgar Winter Babies and have these powers that are so badass that even Superman and Luke Skywalker combined can't stop them. The kids kill a bunch of people and try to take over, but it's all pretty pussified and the only really good part is where they possess all these cops & National Guard cats and get them to blast the shit out of each other. There's no tits either, so I don't know why the hell this movie is rated R. Maybe for sucking. The kids are little bastards, but it's kind of hard not to side with them because when the girls grow up they're obviously gonna be seriously hot what with the funky white hair and their bad fucking attitudes, plus the regular people pretty much deserve everything that happens to them anyway: for shit's sake, in one part the whole town decides to go after the kids with torches. This movie happens in fucking 1995- none of these clowns owns a flashlight? Or maybe there was a Frankenstein movie on TV and that's what got them all riled up. I know one thing- if I ran into some evil kids who could read my mind and kill me just by thinking about it, I sure as hell wouldn't go around poking them with sticks or pointing guns at them. Here's an idea: why not watch to see where the kids like to go all the time and then plant a bunch of landmines? Boom! Problem solved, you fucking imbecile hayseeds. They should've called this "Village of the Dumb".