This movie is like an episode of Star Trek gone way, way wrong. This dude slugs a guy and won't listen to his boss, so he gets promoted to captain of a spaceship (this is called the "Captain Kirk Effect"). The spaceship is on its way back from a mission when it gets damaged in a fight with some UFOs, so they land on this planet to fix it. When they get out and walk around though a couple of the crewpeople get attacked by this goofy robot that looks like a cross between the Tin Woodsman and the grill of an old Ford pickup from like 1950. Eventually they meet these bald Vulcans who tell them that the robot works for this evil computer that's been pushing them around, so the captain agrees to help them kick the computer's ass. They ask their own computer how to do this, and their computer says that they can destroy the enemy computer by pushing a button on it that's "probably red". That seems pretty fuckin' specific if you ask me, but the captain gets all pissed off because their computer can't tell him any more. When they find the evil computer it looks like a giant novelty slot machine that you'd see in the lobby of a casino or something, but it does have a red button so they press that sucker and sure enough the computer blows up. Unfortunately, they have to make a pretty quick getaway because this causes the whole planet to explode too. Looks like those Vulcan guys were better off before. Nice one, captain.

It's not over yet, though: the evil computer possessed one of the dudes the robot attacked, and he tries to wreck the ship. He strangles the token black guy, the hot Asian chick, and the one Vulcan who tagged along, but all the white people escape. (They don't do a damn thing to help those other three when they're getting choked to death, by the way. Fucking white people.) The captain finally blows the possessed dude into space and it looks like that's the end of that, but then it turns out that the evil computer took over the ship's computer so now they're all fucked anyway.

There was hardly any blood in this, and even though there were tons of astoundingly hot chicks (the captain's piece was especially fine) none of them gets naked, even though there's not one but two separate scenes where people use a sex machine! I guess the jokers who came up with this flick thought the story was so exciting that it didn't need tits in it. They were wrong.