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White Zombie

(1932)

The problem with zombies is that most of them are the "flesh eating" kind and hardly any are the "sugarcane harvesting" kind. They just don't know their place. Well, this is a pretty old flick so these zombies aren't so uppity- dey's all workin' at de sugah mill. Of course you get what you pay for- one zombie even falls in the goddamn sugar while they're grinding it up! I wouldn't buy that bag. Anyway, some dude is trying to nail down a certain piece of ass, so he hires the local voodoo guy to turn her into a zombie. Her husband thinks she's dead until this other cat clues him in, and he's not too happy about it: "Well surely you don't think she's alive, in the hands of natives? Oh no, better dead than that!" What a bigot.  They decide to rescue her, but this just involves a lot of putzing around and nothing else really happens, until the very end where the voodoo guy gets beaned in the noggin and all his zombies walk off a cliff. The only good parts are a hottie in her underwear (1930s style) and when the zombies toss a butler named Silver (Silver?) in the castle sewer or whatever that thing is. Frankly it's all pretty weak.