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The Witch

(1966)

Some old lady tells this dude she wants to give him a job, but it seems like she's really trying to hook him up with her daughter, who's actually pretty fucking hot. The dude's a big player, but he's kind of into the daughter ("She was my ideal girl; a liar, corrupt..." he tells his buddy), so he keeps hanging around even after it turns out the daughter is already banging some other clown. The main dude ends up getting in a fight with this cat and killing him by accident, so the old lady convinces him to get rid of the body by tying it naked and spread-eagle to some railroad tracks and letting a train run over it! That's great. At this point you'd have to be a complete sap to not at least get a piece of ass out of this fucked-up deal, so the dude goes back and spends the night. The next day the hot chick starts playing the bitch card and copping all this attitude though, so he lets her have it across the mouth a few times and locks her in one of the rooms. And that's when the secret comes out: the old lady and the hot chick are the same person! Uh, I think. Actually it doesn't make any sense at all, but the people who made this movie were troopers and they don't let that stop them. Anyway, the main dude ends up completely pussywhipped, but when the chick(s) bring in sucker #3 for the same deal he knows his days are numbered so he takes the initiative by grabbing the old lady, tying her to the gate out front, and setting her on fire. The look on the new guy's face when the main dude lights the bitch up is pretty funny- it's probably the most fucked-up job interview he's ever been on. This movie's kind of weak (there's no gore, and we only see the hot chick's tits for an amount of time so small you'd need atoms or something to measure it) but it's still worth it just to see the old bat get torched at the end. That's always good shit.