Witchery

(1988)

A bunch of fucks go to this hotel that's haunted by an old, ugly witch. One of the dumbasses is David Hasselhoff, whose good-looking girlfriend won't fuck him (cute and smart!). But she ends up getting raped by a witch or the devil or something after her shirt is torn off, which is almost as bad. (She has nice tits, by the way.) There's also a cute, slutty blonde who dies before she has a chance to get naked. Other people bleed to death and get crucified upside-down. In one part, this lady gets hung in the chimney and when everyone gets cold and starts a fire she gets cooked alive. All in all, though, it was pretty lame. The best part is when Hasselhoff gets impaled.

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