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Yor: The Hunter from the Future

(1983)

This movie is about this GQ caveman who cruises around fighting dinosaurs and picking up all this hot pussy; in one part these other dudes steal some, but when that happens he just kills a giant bat, uses it to hang-glide into their cave, then kicks the shit out of them and takes the pussy back. The caveman has this necklace that he thinks it's all important and shit, so he ends up going to this island to find out more about it and suddenly he gets attacked by these robots because it turns out it's not caveman days, it's the future.* It sounds like this could be a good movie but it's totally weak; there's hardly any blood at all and no tits whatsoever. I seriously can't believe they managed to fuck this up with hot chicks, dinosaurs, and robots in it- I'll bet I can come up with a better version in like two seconds:

Part 1: This caveman dude is hanging out with his friends when suddenly this dinosaur comes along and rips the shit out of everybody and eats them and there's blood and gore everywhere. Some cave chicks escape but most of their clothes get torn off. The caveman takes his spear and stabs the dinosaur in the eye and all this gore squirts out and the dinosaur falls on this one guy and squishes him, then it dies.

Part 2: The cave chicks are all happy that their lives were saved so to show their appreciation or whatever they take turns fucking the caveman. He can only fuck a couple at a time though so while the others are waiting they dyke out with each other.

Part 3: Holy shit! It's like this big twist and it turns out it's the future! These robots all attack and start raping the chicks so the caveman has to bust some heads. All the noise wakes up another dinosaur and it comes rolling in and starts crushing and eating everything, so the robots have a battle with it and finally blow it to pieces. Blood and guts and robot parts rain down all over everybody.

Part 4: The caveman thinks it's all over but of course it isn't and there's one robot left. He has a huge fight with it and finally smashes its head in. There's only one cave chick still alive, played by Avril Lavigne. She shows the caveman her amazing rack and they hook up. The end.

There- how hard is that?

*I think that's supposed to be like this big surprise, but since they tell us right in the name of the movie it pretty much isn't (fucking idiots).