Thanks to someone's big fucking mouth, this was my nickname all through high school. Eat shit, Carrie; I'm glad I planted your dad's gun outside that liquor store. Hope you enjoyed juvie, ha ha! Oh, and Facebook me sometime. Unless you've put on a lot of weight, then don't bother.

So, the actors in this movie are so incomprehensibly bad that, in one part, they can't even convince me that they enjoy heroin. It's a good thing two of them are hot chicks. The 13 seconds of horror begin when they set up shop in this abandoned building. I missed what, exactly, this place supposed to be though: at one point somebody says they're in an old silent movie theater, but there seem to be plenty of bedrooms too. Maybe it's Rudolph Valentino's brothel. (Why they're there is another mystery. They all talk about recording some album, but they never actually get around to doing this, and as far as I could tell only one person brought a musical instrument.) At any rate, before long they hear mysterious noises, they find not one but two mysterious books, there's mysterious paintings on the wall... it's all so fucking mysterious. You can't argue with the part where a guy gets crucified upside down and then strangled with his own intestines, but other than that it's all fairly weak, and the big twist at the end has been done so many times it should have its own stock number. Oh, and since it turns out that the whole thing was just a fantasy in the one dude's mind (spoiler warning),why is there not a part where the two girls make out while he watches? Hell, I include lesbian scenes when I visualize what I'm gonna pick up at the supermarket; you'd think in the course of a movie-long hallucination this guy could work one in somehow.