Let's get one thing clear right off the bat: Amazing Stories sucked shit. It was a crummy fucking show that everyone hated, even the people watching it during its own intro. Seriously, check out the old guy to the right of the screen, the one who sort of turns towards us with the irritated look on his face just before the title comes up. Does he look like he wants to watch this lousy program? Hell no. He wants to watch Matlock.

One of the biggest problems with Amazing Stories was that it was just straight-up lazy. Take this episode for example. The premise is that this kid who's at the Battle of the Alamo somehow travels through time and ends up in regular days, or, as they were known back then, the 1980s. So what does he do? Nothing! Okay fine, that's not entirely true: he rides the bus, some middle-class broad assumes he's panhandling even though he's just standing there, a brother steals his hat, and he gets chased by the pigs. Big whoop. Unless you're white, you probably did the exact same shit today. It's like the clowns who made this figured that the setup was so "amazing" that nothing else needed to happen. I'll bet they all knocked off early that day and were soused on Sun Country wine coolers by 2 PM. Sorry to be a such huge drag, makers of Amazing Stories, but this was only your third episode and some people probably still expected to be entertained by it, you goddamned slackers. Thanks for wasting everyone's fucking time.

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