A little kid is visited by this evil, filthy gnome, who tells him that work is for chumps, and that he should never throw anything away. In short, the little bastard tells him to become an unemployed hoarder. This is exactly what the kid does, so naturally he ends up a homeless, friendless bum living in the desert, at least until the owners of the land he's squatting on send a bulldozer to knock down his homeless bum shack and he has to pack up all his shit and move along. Ha ha! Get a job, asshole. At this point you're probably waiting for the big twist and rest assured so is he, but not yet. Another thirty years go by, and now the sorry sack is an withered old geezer who's contemplating suicide. And then it happens: it turns out that all the toys and comic books he's been hauling around for the last umpteen years are collectable now and worth a fortune, so he sells everything and becomes a seventy-year-old millionaire. Are you kidding me? That's their fucking message? That you should piss your entire life away, and then spend your golden years hocking your few, cherished belongings to collector scum? Christ, some most episodes of Amazing Stories are pretty goddamned awful, but this one really takes the fucking cake and eats it too. And then pukes it up everywhere and has to go to the hospital. Seriously, fuck you, Amazing Stories. Fuck you straight to hell.

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