This installment of the show that finally proved Steven Spielberg could fail opens with a bunch of broke-ass fucks trying to beg some free booze at the local bar, a situation the production staff of Amazing Stories would be intimately familiar with soon enough. One destitute old rummy is so far gone though that, in a super heavy-handed scene that's actually embarrassing to watch, the others decide to take out a life insurance policy on him. "Life insurance policy," one of them whispers, all dramatic-like, while the camera zooms in on their faces, one by one. It's the closest anyone has ever come to directing a scene by literally punching the audience in the face. Of course the big joke is that no matter how much booze they pour down the old geezer's throat, he won't die. Finally they give him kerosene, but that doesn't kill him either, and neither does antifreeze, turpentine, rat poison, or leaving him in a snow bank. This whole, painful shtick wore itself out hours ago (I know this show is only 30 minutes long, but it feels like hours), and if you can't guess by now that the very last scene will be the unkillable boozer ordering yet another drink long after the jokers trying to off him are dead and/or in jail, then you're even stupider than the person who wrote this laughably obvious piece of shit. And I'm sorry, but that just isn't possible.

Read Mr. Satanism's book, The 100 Best Movies Ever Made ...Mostly Suck, now available here and on Amazon.