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Amityville: The Evil Escapes

(1989)

Remember how the house exploded at the end of Part 3? Well, it got better. A roving gang of exorcists barges into the place for an intervention, so the evil hides in a lamp (pussy). Later someone buys the lamp at a yard sale, and pretty soon it's haunting a whole new family: grandma; mom; impossibly hot teenage daughter; crazy little girl; and unbelievable fucking dork of a son. ("Now what sort of haircut is that?" says his grandma. I have the same question about his puffy, retard face.) It's a perfect setup for the demon - no one ever suspects the lamp - but the rest of us are pretty much screwed because this was made for network TV so it's hopelessly wussified. The lamp gives an old lady tetanus, cooks a parrot in the toaster oven, possesses a chainsaw (this part is hilariously moronic, especially when the decrepit old maid leaps in and saves the day), turns itself on (I guess the horror here is that it's wasting electricity), melts a phone, drowns the plumber and then steals his van, and raises some other low-grade hell, but the only really bloody part comes courtesy of a garbage disposal (tough break, Lefty). In the end grandma finally puts a stop to the idiocy by throwing the lamp out the window and over a cliff. In one last burst of epic stupidity the lamp wraps its power cord around this priest and tries to take him with it, but for some reason the cord is 200 feet long so there's plenty of time to cut it and save his pious ass.

Worth seeing for the teenage daughter, but that's about it.



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