So, now that they remade Part 1 does that mean that the original series is effectively over? Or could someone still come along and make Amityville Horror 9 without making new versions of Parts 2-8? Seriously, it's a stumper. It's like one of those hypothetical questions that kung fu gurus ask when you come to them for training, and your training isn't truly complete until you figure out the answer, which you never do until the big fight at the end and that's what finally enables you to be victorious over insurmountable odds, Grasshopper. Anyway, the original Amityville Horror wasn't all that great, so this time they brought in Michael Bay, which is sort of like setting your car on fire because the trunk won't open. Amazingly enough though, this version is totally awesome. First off, the main chick is stunning, and she has an unbelievable ass. If she offered, I'd eat soup out of it. There's also a super-cool, cock-wrenchingly hot babysitter who smokes up while she's watching the kids, then scares the shit out of them by telling them about the murders that happened in the house. I was majorly pissed when one of the ghosts mindfucked her. She's hot, does drugs at totally inappropriate times, is mean to little kids, and is hot. That cunt ghost jacked up my dream girl! In addition to the double dose of top-notch babes it's also pretty scary, there's plenty of blood, some puking, and a dog gets chopped up with an axe. I only had two problems with this movie: there's no tits, and in the end the family escapes the house in a motorboat. You don't escape from a haunted house in a fucking boat, that's for killer sharks and giant octopuses. What the hell were they thinking?