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And Baby Will Fall

(2011)

All the chicks in this movie are ugly, and who gives a shit what happens to a bunch of ugly chicks? If I cared about ugly chicks, I wouldn't get insultingly drunk before I fucked them, or go out of my way to point it out afterwards. The beyond pregnant main chick is especially insufferable though. She's so hung up on the idea of losing her baby that if I was her husband I'd punch her in the stomach just to get it over with, and when her actual husband gets accused of murder she turns her loyalty to him on and off like a dollar store flashlight. Of course there are some twists, and eventually it turns out that the supposedly dead girl is really alive. Faking her own murder, it seems, was just part of an elaborate scheme to steal the main chick's baby and waste nearly two hours of my life, including limited commercial interruptions. So what the hell does the title mean? Well, in the end the pregnant chick is hiding in a dumbwaiter shaft about to drop kid, so I assume it refers to the possibility that the baby might fall right out of her twat and down said shaft, which is way grosser/tackier/more hilarious than anything I could possibly come up so instead of saying another word I just want you to close your eyes and visualize what it would've looked like if that had actually happened. I imagine it would be a lot like watching a midget bungee jump.

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