
Video Picks for Perverts
|
|
(2002)
Cartoon effects aren't good for much, but when you don't know what something's supposed to look like anyway they aren't such a bad bet. I mean, who's to say that a ghost doesn't look like a crappy pixilated blob floating in the one part of the room where none of the actors is actually looking? This flick is a perfect example because it's yet another movie about shrinking people down and letting them drive a tiny submarine around inside someone else. They trot out this stupid plot at least once every 20 years or so, and each time it's twice as dumb as the previous version, but it's like the perfect candidate for cartoon effects because really, who knows what it looks like inside a person's body? So, naturally, they barely use any cartoon effects at all. Instead, it's just people sitting around and walking down the same hallway over and over. Almost nothing happens; they let the sole hottie get killed by white blood cells (this is how people in these movies always die) for absolutely no reason (way to squander a hottie, jackwipes); and it doesn't end with the submarine returning to regular size while it's still inside someone, and just once I'd like to see one of these movies end with the submarine returning to regular size while it's still inside someone. BOOM! SPLAT! Ha ha! That would be so awesome. |
| All original material on this site Copyright 1995-2011 Inept Concepts/Mr. Satanism. All rights reserved. Other materials posted for referential purposes meet fair usage requirements and are copyrighted by their respective owners; their use here does not constitute a challenge of said copyright. By moving your lips while you read this, you waived me of all legal responsibilities into perpetuity. Please do not copy original text or images, in whole or in part, without written permission. My lawyer thinks like Darrow and dresses like McBeal, so she will win. Now buy some merchandise. This site doesn't pay for itself, you know. | |
YOU don't have to PUT UP with the HIP.