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Arctic Predator

(2010)

In some movies, you can learn everything you need to know about a person from like one line of dialogue. For example, when a guy in this movie says "Ah, checkers. An intriguing game of algorithmic analysis and nearly limitless permutations," I knew immediately that the person who wrote this flick probably graduated first in his class at hack school. I also find this same character's claim that the monster that's after them would be able to kill every single person on Earth, one at a time, in a month, pretty suspect. He does realize that there's more people on the Earth then just the ones he knows personally and from his favorite TV shows, right? Fortunately, the parts of this flick that really matter are all pretty good. The monster's a cartoon (of course), but it's supposed to be made out of ice so it actually looks okay, and the parts where it pops up and gets people work almost every time. I especially liked the bit where two guys accidentally take a picture of it while it's sneaking up on them- watching it close in while they're trying to figure out what the fuck they're looking at is legitimately creepy. I would've appreciated some more blood & gore, but overall I'd call this a passably decent monster movie. I did have one big problem with this flick though, and that was finding a picture to use for this review. There's no trailer, no poster, no web page, no music video tie-in... I swear, it's like the Syphilis Channel is so embarrassed by their own movies that they'll move mountains to prevent people from knowing that they exist. Yet they won't put even the slightest amount of effort into simply making them better. Talk about fucking neurotic.

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