Patricia Cornhole (heh) is a complete embarrassment to the airport bookstore authors community, and if you've ever read one of her awful fucking novels for retards you know that she can barely write at an eighth-grade level much less come up with a story that's worth making into a movie. But even though this flick is based on one of her dumb, boring doorstops I decided to give it a go anyway. Why? Because the chick from Groundhog Day is in it, and I want to have her babies.

Fortunately, the people who made this movie are actually good at their jobs, and it's amazing how much shit they managed to whip into shape, including making the main cop a genuinely cool guy instead of a self-absorbed cocksucker who moonlights as an asshole, fixing a plot hole so big I could put my dick through it with one line ("I need you for a photo op."), and coming up with a way more convoluted plot that manages to make more sense anyway. Also a lot more people get killed, which is always a plus. Watching this movie could be kind of dangerous because someone might get the mistaken impression that the book isn't total crap and put their I.Q. At Risk by reading it, but if you know better then there's no harm in checking it out.

Besides, there's a part with the Groundhog Day chick in bondage. Yum.