The first scene in this movie is hilarious: a dork buys his girl flowers and is feeding her some lovey-dovey horseshit when suddenly he gets plugged by a stray bullet and dies on the spot! Oh, the humanity! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha! For real, I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard at tragedy. Anyway, after you've been through something like that there's nothing left to do but get a job with Manimal taking care of his kid, whose name I didn't catch so we'll call him Little Lord Wiener-Boy. See, the kid's mom bit the big banana of death a few years back, and everybody thinks she was murdered but nobody knows who did it. Was it Manimal? The bucktoothed chick who wants his cock? The deadbeat brother? The kid? The bitchy housekeeper? Amber the horse? The mom's ghost? Oh, wait, that last one wouldn't work. Anyway, whoever it was starts gunning for the main chick next, and the plot thickens (in theory) when we find out how the wife died: apparently she got trashed, told Manimal she should've married his brother, and then fell out a window! "She must've been very confused," says the main chick (I guess that's polite for "What a cunt"). The whole thing is like a grocery store romance novel written by someone huffing butane, the main chick (who's pretty hot) never gets naked, and they don't even throw in any cool twists, like having it turn out that Manimal is really Amber the horse. It's terminally weak.