Okay, the box says this is called "AVH: Alien vs. Hunter" but when you watch the DVD there's no title at all. I guess even the movie was embarrassed by how goddamned stupid that name is. The flick stars the Greatest American Hero (oh, Ralph, has it really come to this?) as a jogger who meanders around the woods with some other idiots while a giant alien spider picks them off one by one. (I notice when it eats people it tends to start with the crotch. What's with that?) And, as you might have been able to guess from the title if this movie actually had one, there's also a second alien that looks like the Sogmaster who's out to make breakfast a mess kill the first alien. Everything about this is insultingly fake: the name, the monsters, the acting, even the fucking sewer they keep walking through (at one point they're obviously just standing under some county road overpass). Plus of course there's plenty of incomprehensible conversations, like this:

Chick: "Why is it so smoky in here?"
Condescending Idiot: "Tammy, we're in a sewer."

Frankly, I think that was a pretty good question, cocksmoke. Obviously this is a worthless, rip-off piece of crap, and the only reason it exists is to trick disinterested girlfriends into grabbing it by accident when you send them out to rent Alien vs. Predator. Warning to lazy guys: Your smarter breed of girlfriend will make this mistake on purpose.