You know, if that George Orwell cat had ever gotten around to writing Animal Farm Part 2 I'll bet it would've played out a lot like this. There's a huge race war going on between the pigs and the sheep, which starts over a single, solitary apple but amps into overdrive after they find a mysterious tablet full of ancient writings buried in the side of a hill. "I got a feeling this really is something worth fighting over," says one of the sheep. You know, this might be getting a little too deep for a children's program. Eventually one of the tablets breaks and it turns out there's a golden plate inside that... uh...

Okay, for real, is this a hoax? This has got to be a hoax, right? If the pigs and sheep invent Mormonism I'm gonna shit, seriously.

So, the gold plate leads them to a secret cavern, where they eventually find some sort of mysterious thingamajig, which they fight over for a while, until a giant fortune cookie falls out that contains another clue, at which point they suddenly drop the entire thing and just start fighting over the apple again. Are you fucking kidding me? After all this endless, pointless assing around they never even bother to finish the story??? Christ damn it, it's like The Fellowship of the Ring all over again. If they think I'm gonna watch any more episodes of this idiot cartoon to find out how it all turns out I've got news for them: Fuck off. Fucking Barnyard Commandos. Fucking Mormons. What a load of horseshit.

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