Ugh, this doesn't look very promising, and it gets even worse. Apparently this tape is meant to be paired up with some toy battle station, and you need to read an entire goddamned instruction manual to figure it all out. I don't have either of those things, but I assume the idea is that the video transmits some sort of ray that makes the toy do something or other, which frankly I don't find very comforting. If I have a seizure before it's over or get diagnosed with cancer later, I'll be sure to let you know.

As you can imagine, the story is pretty much nonexistent. Basically there's this battle station, which doesn't seem to serve any practical purpose except to sit there and ward off attacks. So the bad guys attack it. The two main bad guys are an interesting pair though: one of them looks like Two-Face crossed with the Thing, and the other one looks like a retired German techno-pop star still wearing the stage outfit he designed in 1978. I wonder how these two goofballs hooked up? Probably Craigslist. The good guys, on the other hand, are pretty generic, and they're definitely not getting paid enough to put up with this crazy shit. Hell, the dude in charge can't even afford sleeves for his uniform.

So anyway, everyone fights for a while ("Doom on you!" the good guys keep yelling at the bad guys, I assume because "Fuck you!" was deemed inappropriate for a children's program), and then they fight some more, and then, well, they fight some more. That's pretty much it. I dunno, maybe it would've been more entertaining if I had the instruction manual. Probably not though.

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