Who brings a dog on their honeymoon? I mean, aside from the one you had to bring because you married her. Ha! That's great. Anyway, these nitwits did bring their dog and when it runs off the wife chases it into the woods and gets raped by a monster. Seventeen years later they try to solve the rape (talk about putting shit off), but it's too late now because their kid is really the monster's kid and before long he turns into a giant bug.* Why a bug? Apparently it's strictly to fuck with this one guy's head, but he kills that guy before he becomes the bug so I really don't see the point. Logic aside, it's an awesome movie: there's plenty of gory murders, a part where someone gets cock-blocked by a dog carrying a severed hand, the monster bug busting through a concrete wall, and one decent pair of tits, plus some "no thanks, I'll pass" tits provided by a dried-up old hag and a dead chick. Actually the dead chick's are okay, so since she's probably just an actress pretending to be dead we'll say two decent pairs of tits. There's no way I'm cutting the hag any slack though- those puppies were nasty. I guess sometimes dead is better.

*At least they all say he's a bug. Frankly I think he looks more like a grown-up Jarvis baby, or possibly a really tall Garbage Pail Kid.