These eggheads invent a big, clunky helmet that, when you wear it, lets you see and feel and hear everything that someone else did. It's like virtual reality, except at least one person had to actually do the shit first. They pare it down to the size of some old-school headphones, hire a firm to properly market it, sell millions of units, and everyone makes a boatload of money. The end.

Oh, wait, that would be boring. What actually happens is that everything rapidly goes to shit. First, it turns out you can steal people's memories with the thing. Then this one guy takes a recording of someone having an orgasm, loops it, and just lays there in his basement spooging himself into a coma. Things don't get really weird though until this broad has a heart attack in the lab and decides to stumble halfway across the room, put the headphones on, and start recording. Dialing 9-1-1 probably would've been a better use of her time in that particular situation, but the important thing is that now there's an actual recording of what happens when you finally punch your bucket, and maybe even after. That's some pretty heavy shit, but instead of running with it they trot out all this lame government conspiracy "oh boo-hoo they're using my invention as a weapon" crap and it turns into every movie I saw this month and one or two I didn't get around to. In the end the main guy hacks into the company's computer system and sets off all this zany chaos so he can steal the "dying" memory tape while everyone's distracted, and suddenly we've got shit flying everywhere and people being sprayed with water and a room filling up with soap bubbles like that episode of The Brady Bunch where the kid used too much laundry detergent. Basically, it's a movie that asks all the big questions, then doesn't bother answering them so there'll be time for a slapstick black guy to slip on some ball bearings and then find himself hanging from the front of a runaway forklift. (How the hell did he end up on that forklift in the first place? Seriously.) Then, to wrap things up, they completely rip off the end of The Black Hole, and nobody liked that ending then so don't pretend you like it now, you hypocrite sons-of-bitches.

You know what, I've got a brainstorm. Why doesn't this movie go fuck itself?