Ah, yes, the 1966 Marvel Superheroes cartoons, what could be better? Well, staring at the wall for one thing- at least there a chance something on the wall will actually move. If you're not familiar with these, allow me to explain. Basically, the 1966 Marvel Superheroes cartoons were the laziest cartoons ever created. In fact, you can't legitimately call them "cartoons" at all; they're really just a bunch of drawings standing around blinking. Needless to say they fucking suck, and taken as a whole they rank among the biggest bullshit rip-offs of all time.

This video has two blinking-filled adventures on it. The first one shows Captain America's "origin", after which he gets stationed at "Camp Le High". Cute, but your French isn't fooling anyone: we all know he got his super powers by taking drugs. In the second one, Captain America gets sent into combat (but not as Captain America, which makes zero fucking sense, but whatever), leaving his sidekick "Bucky" to fend for himself. You can't leave a sidekick alone for two seconds without someone kidnapping him or her though, so Bucky gets lured into a van almost immediately and Cap has to go AWOL to save him, once again illustrating how dumb it is for Captain America to be in the Army and have a secret identity who's also in the Army. You know, now that I think about it the whole concept of Captain America is completely fucking retarded. Who comes up with this shit? At any rate, I did like the Batman-style sound effects that popped up when the kidnappers conked Bucky on the head ("Bop! Bop!"), and a girl does get shot in the stomach (try blinking your way out of that one, bitch), but even random violence can't save these moronic, beyond half-assed cartoons. Screw you, Marvel Comics.