Green - Don't Sweat It
Yellow - Be Careful
Red - You're Dead

So anyway, apparently a Category 6 would classify as Red, because the cartoon storms in this flick are fucking up almost everything. Watching cartoons destroy other cartoons isn't very thrilling through, so it's up to the people to carry this nonsense which is a tough sell because they all pretty much suck. (Seriously, when your main chick is the dyke from The Facts of Life you are truly scraping the bottom of the monkey barrel.) In true disaster movie fashion most of them are useless clods with boring personal problems, the most irritating being the super stiff dork who couldn't out-act a piece of fiberboard and is cheating on his generic wife with an equally generic blonde. Dare to dream, idiot. Other morons I hated included the obnoxious hippie bag, the multiple husbands and brothers I couldn't tell apart because all the actors playing them looked exactly alike, and... Well, pretty much everybody, actually, except for Cousin Eddie (who was fairly entertaining) and the teenage daughter (who was notably fucking hot, especially in that little top her prude dad got all pissy about). When things finally pop off (don't hold your breath- for no rational reason this damn movie is three hours long) it's exactly as lame and old hat as you'd expect: a pregnant chick gets trapped in an elevator (of course there's a pregnant chick, and of course she gets trapped in an elevator), not one but two airplanes have to make emergency landings, there's a race against time, blah blah blah. Seriously, why couldn't they throw caution and good taste to the wind and amp this bad boy up a little bit? There's almost no way it could ever actually be good, so do the next best thing and make everything completely insane and over the top. Like what if the pregnant chick who got trapped in the elevator got hit by lightning instead, and then her baby shot out of her vag, on fire, and cannonballed right out a thirty story window? That alone would have made this one of the best goddamned movies I'd ever seen.