"No, please..." says this trick right before somebody caps her in the noggin. Try to enjoy it, because it's the last line in this entire movie that sounds like anything a real person would actually say. Here's an example of what I'm talking about:

Dumb Bitch #1 (of 4): "It's hard for me to imagine the little girl who grew up over the hardware store moving into the governor's mansion."

For real, nobody drops that much clumsy information into one sentence unless they're getting paid by the word or wearing a wire: "So these are the drugs, right? You're selling me the drugs and I'm currently giving you money. For the drugs." Looks like it's back to Writing 101 for somebody, and the sooner the better.

Getting back to the chick who got popped... At first everyone assumes it was a suicide (CSI: Kindergarten could've told you otherwise, but never mind, this movie insists on being aggressively stupid), but eventually it turns out that somebody is trying to kill everyone who went on this specific camping trip 15 years ago. Why? Because some excitable twat got pushed off a cliff during that trip and now there's blackmail. In short, it's yet another case of thirty-something whiners who can't get over something that happened in high school. Okay, fine, I suppose murder carries a little more weight than the time the basketball team stuffed that nerd into his locker and then forgot about him over the three-day weekend, but as far as I'm concerned we're tailgating outside the same ballpark. The only real difference is that the bad guy goes to jail at the end instead of being dumped during prom and then falling off a horse into the swimming pool.

Incidentally, do people really still use letters and words cut out of the newspaper to cobble together ransom/blackmail notes? Isn't there a font for that by now?

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