Some kids are flying around in their plane getting wasted on Sharp's (I'm not sure if this is because the kids are stupid, or because the set dresser is stupid) when suddenly their vision goes all blurry, their skin starts to burn, and they crash. Meanwhile, dead whales are washing up on shore; pigeons, bees, and bugs are on the rampage; and people are dropping like flies from the heat. What does it all mean? (I know this movie's ridiculous- I meant what else does it mean.) Well, as it turns out, it's that pesky ozone layer again. We really need to do something about that thing- is it possible to nuke an ozone layer? Anyway, a reporter, a guy scientist, a chick scientist (I love how this broad is a complete cunt to the reporter the entire time for absolutely no reason), an airplane pilot, a blonde, and some other idiots decide to save the day, so they fly a plane up there and shoot the ozone layer with Fix-A-Flat or some stupid shit and everything's back to normal. Frankly I had a hard time paying attention to this one; I perked up a bit when everyone was rioting and looting, but that's a lot more fun to participate in than watch, and I liked the part where the bitchy scientist got killed by bees (for some reason, I think it's kinda hot when chicks get killed by bees; leave it to me to have the one fetish without a single web site dedicated to it), but mostly this flick was pretty boring, without being quite boring enough to piss me off. I do take umbrage with the claim on the box that it has "Earth Shattering Special Effects!" though. I don't know if special effects that suck oceans of shit could actually shatter the Earth, but I'm sure that if they could the Sci-Fi Channel would have done us all in years ago, so I suggest you jokers find a more honest way to pimp your stupid movie. How about this:

Countdown: The Sky's on Fire: Doesn't cause cancer!

Or what about:

Countdown: The Sky's on Fire: It's on TV for free!

I'm sure your marketing department can think of some more. Maybe something emphasizing the bees. People dig movies about bees.

(Incidentally, Total Bee Kills: 1)