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Croc

(2007)

There's nothing like a good crocodile movie, so it's too bad there aren't very many of them. This one's not too shabby though. My favorite part is when the crocodile eats this little kid who won't get out of the water when his parents tell him to. (See what happens, kids? You should always obey adults - especially Mr. Satanism - or one day you'll find yourself inside a giant crocodile's gullet. Now e-mail me those pictures of your older sister I asked you for.) There's also an awesome bit where the crocodile ambushes a couple of morons by hiding in a swimming pool; after it kills the first guy the pool is so full of blood and floating body parts that it looks like someone was doing the backstroke with a grenade up their ass and the damn thing went off. The only thing that sucks about this flick are the parts where they use cartoon effects. Seriously, crocodile movies are just in love with the shitty cartoon effects, but crocodiles look like they're made out of rubber anyway so why even use cartoons when a big puppet looks ten times more realistic? It's one of those rare instances in life when building a giant crocodile puppet just makes more sense, so take advantage of the situation. Plus if the movie bombs at least you can recoup some of your losses by selling the puppet on eBay.



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