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Darkroom

(1981)

Darkroom was a Twilight Zone style TV series that only lasted seven weeks, and it had kind of a bad rep at the time for being really nasty and misanthropic, which is why it's still fondly recalled by hate-filled bastards like me. If most people remember it at all it's for the story where a Vietnam vet who did a bunch of war crimes gets killed by a platoon of toy soldiers, but there were plenty of other good ones too, and even the lamer episodes were filled with insane, over-the-top shit like a guy booby-trapping a pet door with high explosives solely to get revenge on a cat. The best thing about watching this show now though is seeing all the famous people who got into the act: Mad About Helen Hunt gets brutally slaughtered, Sheriff Lobo cuts an old man's legs off with a circular saw, Kung Fu is eaten by a monster (first it wraps a tentacle around his neck, which I'm sure he enjoyed), one of the Golden Girls caps her husband and his girlfriend... Of course it was 1981 so they don't exactly linger on the gory details, but back then there were no television programs like The Walking Dead or Montel Williams so this and That's Incredible! were pretty much the closest we had to total sleaze. (Does anyone remember the episode of That's Incredible! where some deranged bitch actually brought an honest-to-fuck corpse onto the show? For years I thought I imagined that, but I just Googled it and I'll be damned if it didn't really happen.) Oh, and here's some cool trivia: the sample at the end of the Damned's extra-long version of "Shadow of Love" is from this show, and it's Helen Hunt's death scene! I'm still waiting for that to come up as a question on Jeopardy! Except on Jeopardy! it would be the answer, wouldn't it? As if someone would ask "Who are the Damned?" and consider "Actress Helen Hunt can be heard screaming on one of this British band's albums" a coherent response. Jeopardy! is so fucking retarded.

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