I know if you're a mummy your sack is probably all dried up and sealed in a jar someplace, but that doesn't mean you can't show some balls in like the symbolic sense. That's what makes this movie so cool- instead of engaging in your typical mummy activities (shuffling; crying over some ex-girlfriend he broke up with years ago) this mummy is all about kicking ass and taking names, and he's all out of names. It starts when some tomb raiders bust into his eternal pad. They're in the process of looting the place when - wouldn't you know it - some models working on an "account" for a "top fashion magazine" (yeah, that doesn't sound completely bogus) show up and decide to use the tomb for their photo shoot. Now, any criminals worth their salt would just engage in a quick & dirty mass murder - possibly garnished with some rape - and then head for the hills with the swag. Not these dipshits though; they actually humor the models and the whole thing is in serious danger of becoming zany when - just in the nick of time - the mummy and his zombie army start killing everybody. It's pretty damn gory too, with popped-out eyes, faces melting off, people being eaten alive, and intestines flying everywhere. I wasn't very impressed with the chicks they scraped up to play the models (I wouldn't be interested in most of these second-tier broads if they were modeling my cock in their mouth), but sometimes gruesome horror is enough and this is definitely one of those times. This movie rocks.