Before it even starts this zombie/reality series mash-up is at a serious disadvantage, because it has something to do with Big Brother, a program that I can't even be bothered to acknowledge the existence of much less watch. You'll notice I said the series was at a disadvantage, not me, and that's 100% accurate because it's TV's job to entertain me, and if I'm missing out on some important knowledge I need for that to happen then it's up to the show to fill me in, not me to try and figure it out. And frankly, I'm getting pretty tired of these "fast" zombies. The ones that just sort of putter around are, I dunno, creepier somehow. I guess it is more intense if they can actually chase you down, but that hardly matters in this case because all the action scenes look like they were shot by an unbalanced washing machine. Christ damn it, I am so sick of this fucking bullshit. When did "not being any good at your job" become the primary requisite for being a camera guy? You know what would be way more rewarding than watching this program? Beating the guy who filmed it until he had nerve damage, and then watching him shake around for three hours.

Don't think I'm gonna stop bitching just because I started a new paragraph. Another problem with this show is that it's almost entirely about people who suck. Even the ones who aren't reality show types are unbelievably annoying. The worst has to be the trick with the gun. As soon as she starts cunting off you realize that once again someone has "tough, independent chick" confused with "obnoxious fucking bitch". And what is with the producer dude? He ends up trapped in this room with a perfectly doable bim and all he does is insult her! Look, Oswald, it's the end of the fucking world. I don't care if you're stuck in there with Snooki- under those circumstances you shut your damn pie hole and tap that shit.

So, to summarize, here's what's wrong with this miniseries:

1) It's a dumb idea based on a stupid show that no one except lame fags cares about
2) The zombies are the uncreepy, trying-out-for-the-track-team kind
3) You can't see what's going on due to hack-wit camerawork by assholes
4) Nearly everyone in it is a douchebag
5) The name is a pun, and that's almost never acceptable

Oh, and this isn't actually a slam, but I did find the part where this cat turns on a television and Big Brother is still on the air unbelievably disturbing. Apparently even after the zombie apocalypse there will still be reality shows. Like cockroaches and Twinkies, man.