The same cat wrote, produced, directed, shot, and edited this flick. He's like a quintuple threat. It starts with two dipshits stabbing a cute chick who can actually act. Enjoy her, because it's the last real acting, or talent of any kind, that you will see in this movie. (Well, except for some synchronized swimming, but the explanation as to why that even comes up is way too complicated to go into.) It's basically about this obnoxious artist who's trying to spread communism by, as far as I can tell, acting like a raging asshole at every possible opportunity and all but jerking off on any chick who comes within five feet of him. Frankly though the whole story is like the ravings of a half-blind moron overdosing on crystal meth: it's full of stupid, incomprehensible lines ("I'm shocked. My daughter was into indie rock?"); the political shit is so heavy-handed it would embarrass Tom Tomorrow (not to mention the fact that it's decades out of date. Seriously, what nutjob worries this much about communism anymore? You might as well make a movie railing against the Whigs.); and there's all these nonsensical tangents that don't have anything to do with anything, including an entire sideplot where two hotties go on this bizarre, complicated scavenger hunt for no real reason whatsoever. Even the editing is fucking terrible. In fact, I'm pretty sure it could give some people epileptic seizures, so you might want to be aware of that. (No joke, it looks like they ran the whole movie through some weird editing program that automatically cut to another angle every 0.4 seconds whether it made any goddamned sense or not.) The main bad guy is by far the worst thing about this though; his acting is so bad he should be stripped of his citizenship. If this miserable prick ever gets another acting gig without gargling someone's balls I'll know we're already in Hell.

There are several head-turning hotties on hand (my two favorites being the chick with the huge hammer & sickle on her ass and her cute little friend), but they're almost completely overshadowed by all the weirdos, cornheads, and hangers-on that found their way into this disaster. It's almost like the cast of a Roger Waters movie, except infinitely lamer: so many goofy names popped up at the beginning I wasn't even sure which one was the title. The poster says it's "Death Print" though, so I guess "Rubberdoll" and "Maximum Capacity" are actual people who, for some inexplicable reason, decided to go through real life answering to the Internet handles they came up with when they were 14. I never quite figured out who Maximum Capacity was, but I've got a message for Rubberdoll: your fakes are horrible. Just like this movie.