A size-changing cartoon shark eats several bad actors and bikini-clad hotties. Even if you've just come out of a thirty-year coma you've seen this movie a dozen times before, so the only real reason to watch it would be if the hotties got naked, which they don't. They're very selfish hotties. The main chick does remove her shirt in a dramatic fashion after she finds an article about prehistoric sharks online though. I don't know if she just suddenly decided it was time to show the Internet her bra, or the website got her all hot, or what. Other shit that goes down is equally inexplicable, like all the times people find the shark, fin poking several feet out of the water, just chilling somewhere at a dead stop. Don't sharks die if they stop swimming? And even if it didn't die, wouldn't it sink? How hard is it to make a cartoon fin move across the screen? It's pretty fucking pathetic when your special effects guy's job consists entirely of clicking a computer mouse and he's too lazy to do even that. Of course he's a workaholic compared to the writers, who, realistically, should be sued for ripping off every other Syphilis Channel shark movie ever made. Good thing for them it's not possible to copyright dog shit.

Fake Search Engine Used in This Movie: "Find Spring!" I don't even get that one.