Some kids get hired to fix up one of those abandoned, fully furnished houses that only exist in old episodes of Scooby-Doo. Of course the place is haunted, and pretty soon hands are appearing in the shower, maggots are pouring out of drawers, and ghosts are attacking people in the basement. At first they blame it all on the water heater (Jesus fucking H.), but when the ghost comes flying right through the middle of the kitchen they actually do the one thing no one in a haunted house movie has ever done before: they leave. Now, a normal person would just go home, microwave a Hot Pocket, watch some Cinemax, jerk off, and try to forget the whole thing. Not these idiots, though; they decide to go to Chief Martin Brody for help (I guess they figure if he can kill two giant sharks, he should be able to handle one half-assed ghost). I'm not exactly sure why they're going to all this trouble - it's not their fucking house - but irregardless they all head back to investigate. They finally figure out that the source of the evil is behind the wall in the basement, so they smash their way through to the other side. Did I mention that this isn't their house? Anyway, that's when all fuck breaks loose: Chief Brody gets his face pulled off (it's weird, but he doesn't seem to mind), a guy is hurled into Hell, a chick gets choked with a giant tongue, some goofy-looking demons show up, and finally the whole place burns to the ground. Despite all this the only good part is a flashback with all sorts of really crazy shit going down (zombies, orgies, people burning alive in giant fireplaces, tons of tits) that they must've stolen from another movie because it's way more interesting than anything that's happens in this one.