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Eraser

(1996)

"Eraser"? When the hell did this movie come out? Seriously, I try to see all of Arnold Schwarzenegger's flicks and I've never even heard of this one. Did they forget to advertise it or something? The big gimmick is that the bad guys have guns that can shoot bullets "at almost speed of light". Okay, you know what? Even if that's actually possible it's still retarded. Since they obviously don't care though, I think they should've taken it two steps further and had them running around with Quantum Retro-Causality guns that fire before you even pull the trigger. I'll bet the gun control crybabies would love those. At any rate, other than the guns it's the usual Arnold Schwarzenegger nonsense: explosions, brutal murders followed by smart-ass comments, retarded quotes ("It's a public place with six exits and six ways out."), jumping out of airplanes without parachutes, fights in improbable places, guns knocked out of hands and sliding across the floor, wacky sidekicks providing moronic distractions (back when I was a full-time supervillain, I shot every pizza delivery guy on sight), and a completely idiotic alligator attack. In short, your typical 1980s action movie. Too bad it came out in 1996.



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