I give Kevin Smith a pretty hard time, but only because he makes me so goddamned mad with his crummy movies. I mean, how do you go from something as funny and awesome as Clerks to a flick so fucking bad that even this honey's flawless tits can't save it:

This DVD is basically Kevin Smith on tour, doing some soft-shoe and then answering questions from his legions of pinhead fans, so I figured it would just be a bunch of idiots in Silent Bob costumes asking inane crap like "Which of your great movies do you think is the greatest?" and laughing at everything he says, no matter how unfunny:

Kevin Smith: "So then I farted on R2-D2 and... I... Oh god. I think I'm having a heart attack. Will someone please find my wife...?"
Audience: "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

As it turns out though, he actually says a lot of interesting, funny shit, so props to you, Smith, this one goes in the "win" column, along with Clerks, Clerks the Animated Cartoon, Clerks II, and... uh, Clerks: The Ride, if there is such a thing. Oh, and Dogma, I guess. That one was okay. There is one seriously disturbing thing about this DVD though: Am I to understand that chicks are totally into the doped-up loser who plays Jay? Seriously ladies, are you fucking kidding me? The guy talks like he's mildly retarded and looks like every third junkie who sells weed and "used" MP3 players behind the gas station. Nevertheless, two different chicks - both extremely hot - throw themselves at him during the course of this shit. I hope they were fucking plants or something, because if women's standards are really that low then there really is no hope for the human race.