The main chick in this movie is evil and we're supposed to hate her, so having the story start with her killing a redhead who's way, way hotter than she is was a smart move on their part. Sure, the girl was a hippie, but just between you and me "cute redhead" trumps "hippie" every time, and it definitely beats "annoying bitch who used to be the fat chick on Growing Pains". This might be the first time I've ever wanted to see an evil chick get what's coming to her, as opposed to seeing myself getting into her and coming.

So, Carol Seaver disposes of Grateful Red and steals her identity, and the movie gods must be in alignment today because the next thing you know she's at college rooming with the incomprehensibly fine cheerleader from the good version of The Blob! I don't think I could've done a better job if I cast this movie myself. The plot is all kinds of retarded (you won't believe how many times Carol Seaver's diabolical schemes are almost thwarted by janitors), but the cheerleader from The Blob kept me watching right up to the big catfight where hotness finally triumphs over evil.

I'll have to admit, I'm kind of torn here. On the one hand this flick is pretty dumb, but on the other hand it's worth sitting through just to ogle the girl from The Blob, and truth be told Carol Seaver looks pretty incredible too (just not as incredible as that redhead she had the nerve to kill; ladies, never off a chick finer than you and Mr. Satanism will always have your back). It's like a really bad term paper written by a really sexy co-ed; the work sucks, but under the right circumstances I'd be willing to cut it a lot of slack because of the sheer hotness involved.

If only a movie could blow me.