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The Final

(2010)

Some high school losers (including a chick who's got way too rockin' a bod to be so unpopular) decide to get revenge on the kids who give them a hard time by drugging them at a bogus Halloween party and then jacking their shit up, one at a time, while the others watch. In short, it's one part torture porn, one part Massacre at Central High, and one part Stephen King's Rage. Of course like most overly-complicated revenge schemes it doesn't go exactly as planned (there's something to be said for cutting to the chase and just poppin' a cap in a sucka's dome), but amazingly enough they do manage to achieve most of their goals, unlike those two boneheads in Colorado who couldn't even build a bomb that would properly detonate. And the losers can't even be accused of wiping out too much hot ass, because the popular girls at their school are surprisingly generic. Once they capture everybody it's all pretty boring though, and what is the fucking deal with the Vietnam vet who tries to save the day? First off, I think the black guy in The Shining staged a more effective rescue attempt, and second off, if this clown was in Vietnam shouldn't he be like a hundred years old by now? How much longer are books and movies gonna play the damn Vietnam vet card anyway? I mean really, we've had tons of wars since then. Get with the times, idiots.

Casting this babe as the ugly girl is like casting
Hal Sparks as the guy
everyone anyone likes.

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